Lord, Change Me

Sometimes I think I see myself as the victim when I'm reading scripture.  I think I feel like others deserve God's wrath, but I'm only the victim of others wickedness and schemes.  While I was reading James through 3rd John, I kept thinking "He's talking about people like ____" and I'd fill in the blank with someone who had hurt me or caused depression to settle in my life.  This sets me up to think that God accepts me the way I am and has no desire to change me.  Even though I know in my head that isn't true, when a minister talks about God changing me, I wonder "Why would God want to change me?"  So, there's a sense of pride within, that thinks I'm perfectly okay.  While I know God accepts me, He longs to mold me into what He knows is best for me.  I think it's hard for American Christian's to realize that God does want to change us.  We just don't meet up to His standards, but he's gracious enough to mold us closer to His standards, if we'll only be willing to His molding.  I've been challenged to pray this prayer:  "Lord, change me." and pray that about any person or situation that isn't how I'd like it.  Yes, broken relationships are two way, but if I'm not willing to change, who's to say they will change for me?

This week brought good things for me.  Today is Esther's 1st birthday.  Josh got home yesterday. We're going to Jamestown, ND for the District Ministerial meetings on Thursday and from there we'll be heading to Kansas City to visit family for 1 1/2 weeks, until Josh's graduation at MNU.  Esther and I are very excited to have Josh will us full time :)